


Sleepsong

by PatchworkSam



Series: Sam Headcanons - BSGC Top 5 Prompt #17 [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Headcanon, Lullabies, Sleepsong - secret garden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:46:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4394234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkSam/pseuds/PatchworkSam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Headcanon: Mary used to sing "Sleepsong" to Sam and Dean</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepsong

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know this song wasn't released until 2005, but I've elected to ignore that. You will tear this headcanon from my cold, dead hands. :P
> 
> Song: Sleepsong, by Secret Garden (please listen to it while you're reading, it makes it so much better. And by better I mean more painful, haha.)

Sam doesn’t have any real memories of his mother. But music is a funny thing. He can’t remember her voice, but somewhere in his mind is the memory of a tune she would sing to him and his brother as they went to sleep. After she died, sometimes a very young Dean would sing it to him in barely-remembered motel rooms. Sam probably wouldn’t have remembered the words otherwise, but Dean did. Dean stopped singing it as he got older, but Sam still remembers it, so many years later.

_May there always be angels to watch over you…_

The line drifted through Sam’s mind like a prayer throughout his childhood and into his adult years. He clung to that prayer for years, just as his mother had.

_To guide you each step of the way_

It was a bitter memory when he learned the angels had been orchestrating his journey to damnation all along.

_To guard you and keep you safe from all harm._

The melody drifted sadly through his subconscious as he lay trapped within the ruins of his mind, shattered by a wrathful angel whom he once called friend.

_May you bring love and may you bring happiness…_

The cruel irony of the words brought fresh moisture to his eyes as he wept bitter tears. First his mother, then Jess, then Madison, then Dean a hundred times over, then Kevin, and now Charlie. He brought only death and suffering to those he loved.

_Be loved in return to the end of your days._

No. He did not deserve to be loved. His mother had loved him, and she died trying to save him. Dean, too, loved him, and he had ruined his life. Dean was right; Sam should be dead instead of Charlie.

_Now fall off to sleep, I’m not meaning to keep you…_

For a moment, he thought he heard his mother’s voice, lovelier than an angel chorus, calling to him from Heaven as he knelt with Death’s blade hovering above his head. And he thought maybe, this time sleep would bring him peace.


End file.
